WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHO I'M GOING TO FORMAL WITH

Disappearing Ink

LOLOLOL

english was generally bludge today other than the fact that my whole exam literally went invisible~

so i wrote my exam in this erasable pen that i used a lot. After writing 3 and a half pages of random shit about a village that was probably on crack half the time, I handed it in.

Now, a term later, i get it back and this is what the teacher says:

"So I was talking to Ms. jfkf;ldajkdl;sa and she was talking about her class and I thought, well, you know, Eddie likes doing magic tricks right? So, I open up your exam, Edward, and you've made your whole exam disappear."

Turns out, Josh Klatt borrowed one of my pens and did the same thing. So we went to the staffroom to ask if we could put our exams in the fridge and the teacher freaked out a little.

We came back to get them about half an hour later and found that all the ink came back :D

Not bad~

So...i have this question, when you look at the clock, time will naturally tick over slower than when you're not looking at it. But what if you look at a person. Does time naturally twist itself to go slower than what it actually is or is it real time? Just wondering. 

Don't have much time to blog today. -sadface-

oh well

did it to my friend today

he fell for it :P

he was all:

my reaction

A la Prochaine~

My first proper blog post

So apparently the sense of smell is our strongest sense or the most memorable sense of our life. How I know this: I smell one thing and I can remember a whole conversation I had 5 years ago, word for word. I know it when it happens: a small whiff and it takes me back to that age and when I come back, I feel slightly dazed and lose balance. No, it's not like drugs, it's just...a sense. 

Nowadays, I smell this ONE thing and I'll go through every single moment, every memory, every event that had happened from the start, even before that. Everything leading up to it. Like a hound on a trail, I haven't missed a single bit of detail so far. Sometimes I'll get frustrated: Why? Why is all this coming back to me? Why? Maybe, I'll get depressed or angry when I ask myself, What if? or How come? then all hell breaks loose inside. An earthquake. Big enough to crack something but small enough not to make a ripple on the surface. But we all know that small things lead up to something big. 

Eventually we have to take it out on something. If you're an alcoholic, you drink. If you're a violent kind of person, you'll take it out on someone or something. Go to drugs, smoke, drink, go for a drive if you're old enough, talk to a friend.

But what if there's no one there. What if you have to tick that "none of the above" box? What else can you take it out on? 

What about taking it out on yourself?

This excerpt is from a book I read a while back, Bleed for Me by Michael Robotham. It's a psychological thriller concerning a retired detective and a murder case but at the same time, there are some personal things that need dealing with.

Sienna’s Diary 

 i should start by telling you my name, although it’s not really important. 

names are just labels that we grow into. we might hate them, we might want 

to change them, but eventually we suit them.  

when i was very young i used to hide in the dirty laundry basket 

because i liked the smell of my father’s work clothes and it made me feel 

closer to him. he used to call me his ‘little red riding hood’ and would chase 

me around my bedroom growling like a wolf until i collapsed into giggles. i 

loved him then. 

when i was eleven or twelve i took a stanley knife from my father’s 

shed and pinched a roll of flesh on my inner arm before slicing it open. it 

wasn’t very deep, but enough to bleed for a while. i have no idea where the 

idea came from, but somehow it gave me something i needed. a pain on the 

outside to match the inside. 

i don’t cut often. sometimes once a week, once a month, once i went 

for six months. in the winter i cut my wrists and forearms because my school 

blazer will cover the marks. in the summer i cut my stomach because a onepiece will hide the evidence. 

once or twice I’ve needed stitches but i managed to fix myself, using a 

needle and thread. i bet that makes you shudder but it didn’t hurt so much and 

i boiled the needed first.  

when i bleed i feel calm and clear-headed. it’s like the poison inside me 

is dripping out. even when i’ve stopped bleeding, i finger the cuts lovingly. i 

kiss them goodnight. 

some are new cuts on virgin skin. others are old wound reopened. 

razor blades and stanley knives are best. they’re clean and quick. knives are 

clumsy and needles don’t produce enough blood.  

you want to know the reason? you want to know why someone would 

bleed in secret, it’s because i deserve it. i deserve to be punished. to punish 4

myself. love is pain and pain is love and they will never leave me alone in the 

world.  

every drop of blood that flows from my veins is proof that i’m alive. 

every drop is proof that i’m dying. every drop removes the poison inside me, 

running down my arms, dripping off my fingers.  

 you think i’m a masochist. 

you think i’m suicidal. 

you think you know me.  

you think you remember what’s it’s like to be fourteen.  

you think you understand me.  

you don’t. 

i bleed for you

It's strange, yeah? But it describes one of the reasons why people harm themselves. For some people, they'll just read this and walk off thinking, What on Earth is going on here? Is this girl crazy or something? Having already been through this, I – and a few others – can relate easily. Some people are still in that zone, not even trying to get out but others know where they are but are struggling to climb out of that hole. Some people have recovered and are going strong but others are resisting the urge to fall back into the same patterns. Like me. I'm steadily winding backward into that horrid phase of self-harm.

Some people don’t know this. My friends, most of my family, acquaintances, etc. don’t know that I commit self-harm. 93 cuts. The last time I cut myself was around mid-September last year. For once, I’ll say it straight. There was one night I was so down and out, I slit my wrist 20 times in 2 minutes. I don’t know how I managed but…I guess it was just how I dealt with things.

There are people to help. I wish someone could've helped me out of the hole I so deeply dug out for myself. Everyone has their moments. Whether they're good or bad, we all do. . But for now, I guess that's enough said so I'll leave you with a little poem I found from Mitch Albom's 'Have a little Faith'. Here it is:

I walked a mile with Pleasure;

She chatted all the way;

But left me none the wiser

For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;

And ne'er a word said she;

But, oh! The things I learned from her; 

When Sorrow walked With me.

            - Robert Browning Hamilton

A la Prochaine.

CHANGE

ohwow
i've been having really weird dreams for the last week now. they've aaaall been about the same general topic. I'm not gonna say what. MAKING ME DEPRESSED ughh

aanyway, I....am bored shitless. I'm thinking about stopping piano...'cause i suck. and starting something else...like cardistry.

hey have you ever sat down and just wrote or typed out exactly what you were thinking for a whole 5 minutes? i did that once. a while ago. it came up with some weird results. but if i did that now...nahhh you'd end up writing a damn textbook.

No gifs today...i can't find them. speaking of the blog. I NEED SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLOGWALKERS ON MY CBOX. *RAGE* I rage quit on my cards last night. Mum was yelling at me when i had them and i screwed something up in the flourish so I just threw my cards at the wall and left them there. Yeah i had to pick them up again this morning...

So for the past week, say, i've had this scary stalkerish anon sending me messages. It started off with him/her disagreeing with one of my posts, calling me gorgeous...At first I was thinking you know, awwwww ain't this nice~~ then i start wondering who it might be. I first guessed someone out of FI class then i thought...nahhh couldn't be. No one out of FI would talk to me like that. So I started wondering who would bother talking to me. I asked if it was Jessalyn. Nope. And then she told me: I sit directly behind you ;D

at this point...i got worried. In my column, there were four people, me, Laura, Josh (sometimes Reearna) and Isabella (or Isabelle...I don't actually know). So I thought...if Laura messaged me, she'd use her tumblr account. Josh and Reearna don't use tumblr which left Isabella...


...yeah...
BUUUUUT yesterday, Laura messaged me and told me she was the one sending the messages~~

-BIGGEST SIGH EVER-

A la Prochaine

WTF IS THIS

I'll just give you this general outline of my online social networking history:

When I was 10, i got my first email address

When i was 12, i got msn

when i was 14 and a half i got facebook.

i signed up to tumblr, twitter, stumbleupon, gmail, yahoo, youtube, 8tracks and apple this year as well as subscribing to all sorts of things

I met this 11 year old kid at a concert last night, back stage. 

She ran up to me and asked: HEY CAN I PLAY WITH YOUR IPOD?!?!

Me: uhh yeah sure. she snatches it away instantly. 

Her: What's your paaaaaswoooord?

ok so this goes on for aages as she tries to guess my password...

eventually she gets on and mutters something along the lines of: ....facebook....friends....chat....wall...

at this point, i don't actually know if she's kidding or if she's actually serious...

i didn't know she was 11 either.

WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK

she said: Well, i made my profile when i was 8 

are you fucking serious.

then she tries to steal my lucky card D':

ANYWAY

i seriously need some sleep. for the last week or so, i've had like a gazillion concerts so i've been up till about at least 12 every night. but i'll catch up later on...

LOLOLOLOL

Genesis: Chapter 3

20 And God said, “Let the waters teem with the breath of living creatures, and let birds fly above the land across the face of the expanse of heaven.” And so it was.

21 And God said, “Let there be an herb that when set ablaze and inhaled, it shall expand your mind in new and interesting ways. And I shall try this herb right now, while I am creating shit.” And so he did.

22 And God said, “Okay, so, what if… I took a beaver, right? And then gave it a duck bill. Wait, wait, I’m not done. Now… let’s make it a mammal, but have it lay eggs. Dude, this is awesome. What else? Ummm… a venomous foot would be cool. And it should waddle like an idiot.” And it was so.

God giggled for 30 minutes, ate some Doritos, and fell asleep for a while. 

And it was good.

Found that on tumblr~

So i have this new favourite song: "FUCK YOU" XD It's by Cee-Lo and it has nothing to do with anyone it's just that CL is pretty f***ing awesome and...yeah

just thought i'd clear that up.

awesome. well. dad's just blocked the internet so i'll finish there~

A la Prochaine~

You know, I often wonder about God's decisions and where he puts me in certain points in time. Like today, if those two people hadn't skipped in front of me today; if I didn't do FI, if I decided to go to State High instead, or if i had run away that sunday afternoon and slept on the streets. There are some things that I'm sure that He does but I'm not too clear why. There are those things, those people, that you thought were absolutely perfect, things couldn't have been better. But something happens and things either go one way or the other. They stick closer to you and bonds become stronger or things just kinda fall apart. Every time. Every single fucking time. I get close to...that, something will always happen and "that" doesn't happen.

I guess. No. I know that God has something in store for me. I know that He knows what's best for me. So i'll just stick by Him and He'll lead the way for sure.

I think that'll do. For now.

I need to perform at a Awards Evening so i gotta go get ready.

A la prochaine~

THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND

1. A girl's definition of "good looking"

I'll try and do one per post ;P

This dream...

So i keep having this dream:

I walk down this path from a main road into a cul-de-sac then i go into this house for a party and i just kinda sit there. I don't talk much in my dreams, i normally look around but this time i just sit there, just waiting for something to happen. I dunno what, when or why but i'm just waiting for this thing...

then i just kinda stand up and leave. Fall into my bed and wake up again -____-

yeah there are some dreams where i kinda want to go back, when i wake up but i can't be bothered retracing through everything

dunno what it's about~

huh

anyway, i was on my way home today and i walked past this house and... i saw these two dogs trying to rip each other's heads off :/ ouch. it sounded pretty nasty from where i was. 

Aaanyway AWWW FUCK

the physics exam today was CRAAAAP

me n ben (half) finished the exam and kinda legged it saying:

AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

THAT RETARD IN DODGEBALL TODAII~

i was like:

so me n (other) Ben went down to the oval to watch Dodgeball and it was pretty damn funny

My team (plus2) was meant to lose because of lack people.

yeah we won. Actually, i knew we were gonna win because the other team had this guy whose name i won't mention because i'm not like that little useless piece of shit

 i watched and i saw him get smashed :P

outside:

inside:

bitch got pwned

welp

i found out that i've had something going on every friday for the last two weeks and this week making it three weeks in a row that i've had something happening. And if this week's concert goes on past 11 then i'm gonna find it hard to make it to a fucking rehearsal in the morning

  

creying.

anyway

A la prochaine~

ADSFJKLD;AVJAHJKLAS;JFKLDSAHFKLDSJAFKLD;JFDKLSJAKLHGSALJFDKLSA;JFK;HGAJL;JFKDL;ASHGKLAS;JFKDL;JKG;HAKJ;JFDKSA;JFKDLS;HGJA;FDKSLAFJKDLA;HGKA;LJFDKL;AJAHJ;JFDKLS;J FKLDS 

-GASP-

you know that concert i went to last night?

IT WAS SO. FUCKING. AMAZING

I had no idea how sexy an electric 5 string violin could sound.

so Eric's violin teacher bought Eric, me, herself and one of her other students tickets to go watch Katei Chang at the Brisbane Conservatorium so i just went along and i had no idea that i would become one of his biggest fans XD I got a signed CD and a photo with him

nakldfhjkalghaojf;hejowpfhioupajfdsklaf;hgkajfdklfjdl;as 

couldn't sleep last night so i stayed up listening to the CD.till about 2 in the morning but BY FAR the live concert was heaps better. Eric n I sat around 6 rows from the very front of the stage. perfect for the view and not too loud either. couldn't have asked for more. i was gonna start cheering with everyone else but all the people within a 2metre radius were all quite quiet people so i didn't do anything D:

Yeah so, the BCC representative came along and received the donation cheque and went on about how awesome Brisbane is. He said: "You know, Brisbane is the only city in Australia that has a City Hall. If you went down to Sydney or Melbourne, you'd only find a town hall. We have a City Hall because we're more important than they are." :D sounds about right~

You know how there are ads on the side of websites regarding new movies and all that? Yeah there always just happens to be Paranormal Activity 3 on there and being me, i try to avoid them. But i can't. I just can't. I find myself staring right at them trying to look away but no. 

^awful

A la prochaine

YOYOYO

I GOT A SNAPBACK XD

too bad it's fake D: but i guess it's the thought that counts

Oh god, we have assignments and we've been "working" on them all day... no, it's not like we were playing "this is the only level" for the whole time, no. I pretty much came home today like:

Ugh, me n Lloyd went to gym this morning and...

it wasn't on. 

Mr Grant wasn't here and Mr Bateson wouldn't let us D: we even got on our knees~

so we went off and did a whole bunch of chin up on the top oval.

and i did one hand pushups XD i need to work on those cause i haven't done them in aaages. I just remember that the guy who taught me was some 60 year old random whose ringtone was "Baby" by JB

That was pretty funny :P

HAHAHA so my brother was complaining about how he didn't have as many followers as i did and that i got more messages then him. He blamed it on all of "that love shit" that i posted/reblogged. but yeah i do love my followers <3 one of them called me a sexy mofo ;D so yeah :P

Off to some violin concert now so i'll post up later~

A la prochaine~

al;dmfjlapmhifomapsmhd hakl;kdlas fjd
safdsal;fjdklsa;jfklaghkfja;jklfa;gjkldj;gsafdsahfjdlsajfkldsa

asjfkdl;ajkglf;adjkglf;jakgld;fasjfkdls;ajfkdl;sajfkdlsafdsa



















If the stuff up there^ doesn't appear or something please send me a message, i gotta work something out...

OMFG 8TRACKS

MY NEW FAVOURITE WEBSITE (other than tumblr)

8tracks.com

so much music on there~

study playlists, dubstep, dance, rave, kpop, even sleep <-- i'm gonna need some of that :P

awwww shiittt you know that really sharp pain in your chest when you can't breathe?

btw this isn't something deep and personal...

i dunno but when i inhale, there's this sharp pain like something stabbed me in the chest with a slightly blunt knife.

o_O

i think it's cause i didn't have enough to eat.

asdfjkslf;dhag;djsfklas;fdjklsa;

I'M GETTING MORE FOLLOWERS

kthxbye~

A la prochaine.

Nostalgia

so i was going through my previous diary entries.

now what i mean by previous is anything from grade 7 till now

holy SHIT i was weird. there was this emo note and i found something about myself that i had no idea about...

it was pretty cool cause one of the entries was actually a letter and...i swear my head just spun reading it

Annyway, aww crap, we have assignments and exams DDDDD': aww shit i haven't studied for accounting...

oh well, i pretty much failed all my elective subjects.

It's really awkward at QYO how i hear some people talking near me about how much they love having sex and i'm just sitting over here like:

you know what's sad? a lot of things but for me it's just that i've almost completely lost my addiction to tumblr...

that's bad. really bad.

I mean i go on at around 5:45 and then i realise i only have 15 minutes but i get so lost then it suddenly ticks over to 6 right when i'm in the middle of reblogging something

Damn control freaks.

Beethoven - Opus 13 Grande Sonate Pathétique

Favourite piano piece right now

Second is Rustle of Spring.

A la prochaine

Man, the last two days have been way more boring than i expected :/

Saturday was annoying even though i managed to exercise for a whole hour non-stop (c'est parce que j'ai étais faché) anyway. I REALLY WANT TO GO BACK TO HDGD I was practically begging to go on Saturday, I even told mum i could bus but she said no D: Why? because it looked like it was gonna rain. Aww hell it looked like it alright, the clouds were reallllllyy black. but by the time the rain actually started, i could've been there by then.

No matter no matter.

Yesterday was...OK ish

I got up at around 7:30 (despite having slept at 3:30 in the morning) and had a bowl of cereal and a cuppa :P waited around till 8:30 to watch sbsPopAsia XD my new source of kPop music~

I watched that for a while until everyone else got up and i had to get changed for my cousin's party :P

Yesterday would've been the BEST DAY for the beach. Bloody perfect. But no. I just had to walk 15 minutes in the blistering sun right after eating at Pizza Hut :/ Oh well, we were so close to caking Nic :P but then he said his face would go all red with rashes if we did. 

Fast forwarding, the wedding was pretty weird. just the setup but everything else was great. what i mean by setup is the seating plan. Me n Eric got thrown into the Vegetarian table which was a little weird. Made a new friend, Ivan. He's learning full on Korean. Like his little iPad thing was on a Korean setting so everything, time, date, menu, all of it was in Korean. and he's Malaysian.

skipping to today. STUDENT FREE DAY XD 

Woke up (9:00am)

ate, then played piano for 30mins

watched Pirates of the Caribbean 4 

played piano for 30 mins

ate

played piano for 30 mins

blogging...

Ye. so POTC on Stranger Tides was AWESOME XD but...actually no 'buts'. it was awesome.

Ninja Skills, laziness makes you create a lot of them.

awww yeahhhhhh XD

Achievement accomplished: found 5 different workouts to try out XD

anyway. I just realised that moshing...
IS AWESOME

but then i saw him come along and i was pretty much:

yeah i did NOT expect him to talk to me or come along at all.














but when he started talking to me, i was like...ok...then?

but the guest speaker... man i swear his speech went on for a good 2 hours but it was only about...actually i don't really remember but his voice was really...strained? i dunno but my ears got a little tired...i dunno about anyone else but it was pretty tiring just listening.

i lost my voice after that night :/






so these workouts... i found two on the holidays, another one a week ago and two today. the latest one i found was Taeyang's ab workout which was actually disappointing to read. no shit they're hiding something. you know he's around 173cm tall? o_O google it :P

i personally think that this term is the most relaxing term i've had. only eight weeks of school, no cello exam, one piano exam but that's not much to worry about, a bunch of assignments and exams, and then...KOREAAAAA XDDDD for a few weeks then i'm going back to Taiwan :3

cannot wait lah~  still, piano gets on my nerves... esp. when i haven't even touched my piano in two weeks. she knows and yet i have to suffer sight reading 8 pages of something i don't even know. well i haven't really read up on it for a while.

So every now and then, someone's gonna bring up something i really DID NOT WANT THEM TO for example somethingiwon'tbotherspecifying.
Me: Let me help you shut up

Damn. I hate speeches on assembly that seem to go on for what seems like a freaking lifetime. Like something about our school history.
What is said: A few years ago.............Rauchle..........lung....hospital...........cancer.........basketballl.....
vs.
What i heard: A few years ago daq jkgla;r jdjsdkk gjgkslalw ..........

Welp, i'm gonna go sleep/workout/listen to music/have a shower/eat/find some more reaction gifs

Fucking Hufflepuff  >:(

A la prochaine.

LOL BITCH

Talking behind my back are we? Man that's low...but i guess no one gets as low as a no use, motherfucking sonofabitch like you.

Anyway.

So I teach a bit of maths and english on Monday afternoons and before every session we always play a game of chess. btw, this kid is 8 years old and...has just started playing chess. we're about halfway through the game and he jumps his rook over my pawn and kills my queen....

XD hahaha this guy, man~ 

the thing about this year, for me, is that it's been so damn interesting~ so much shit has happened in the last year and it's about to get heaaapss better. for one thing, yr 10s get a 2 week headstart on our holidays, i'm going to Taiwan again this year (but for longer this time, i won't be back till second week of yr11), but before Taiwan...

i'm

going

to

KOREA

XDDDDDD

Apparently there's this shopping center that's open 24/7 and what's even better is the currency: 1AUD = 1169.72KWR. jkalghiopnviou819-nhunkpqhpahmjga;lkfjkd;as cannot wait lah~ gonna buy CDs, shoes, shirts, jeans 

and cards OH GOD THE CARDS 

Artifice Second Edition Cards were just recently released, Kwan has a black Bicycle deck, Ben's getting two ghost decks: one black and one white...

i'm just stuck with the classic blue n red D:

oh well you know what, i think i'll just go with what God has in his plans for me :P 

Alright, so this might sound a bit crazy, but it's just an idea.

it has been said that when you're about to die, you see this "light" at the end of the tunnel.

Well what if this "light" is the birth canal to your next life? and THAT is why all the endorphins and other chemicals are released. so i turns into a hallucination to force you to forget your past life...

Whoa. trippy

ANnnyway, i think i'm gonna leave it there~

todayy was pretty good~

boring-ish

The best part of today was the scenery~

it was just absolutely beaauutiful XD and there was chocolate like 2KG BLOCKS of chocolate. Looked more like blocks of cheese. Shame I was sick tho :/

Aanyway, i think i'm having chicken for dinner :P can't believe we're going back in two days :O

http://www.masamixes.com/2011/06/k-pop-till-world-ends-20111-mashup.html

pretty awesome mashup with hot girls n guys :P

welp

A la prochaine~

WANTWANTWANTWANTWANT

So...

Up at the Sunshine Coast~

and.

We saw.

a mother. F***ing

Yellow Camero. Black racing stripes 'n' all.

Awwwww yeahhhhh :P
So yeah

-ahem-
so~
i've gotten a whole lotta shirts~ i got these three slim fit shirts and a domobot shirt aaaand a plain singlet with a hood so that's pretty good...i'll upload a few pics when i can~

My cousin's family and ours went up to the Sunshine Coast and there is SO MUCH STUFF HERE

when we first walked into our room, we didn't know what to expect then BAM
THE PLACE IS SO FREAKING BIG

We have this cool as breakfast bar, a great view, 3 rooms, a massive living area and...yeah

 Anyway~ yeah

A la prochaine

WHALE IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK XD

ANYWAY
holidays
final-fucking-ly
gonna go watch TIC TIC II XD

you know...i really hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

LOL so heaps has changed since last entry, i used up my old diary so i'm using a new one, started going to youth group...wow. now that i look at it, yeah, things have really changed.

Like. a .boss

Crap. I should really stop eating all this ice cream...all this...refined sugar = =" gonna have to work this off.

yeah i think i'm gonna finish there for now... i'll update more later~

à a prochaine

Scorpio
was told by Draco
     To tell no one
about his middle name,

   Which is Harry.

WELL it's been a while since last time aye~?

it's been a wild ride recently aaand it's gonna get better.



i can promise you that.

I think...it's safe to say... that...
I'M SICK OF ALL THIS SHIT.

Seriously, I heard everything Nick said and i'm pretty sure i know about it too. I'm sitting just about on the same line. One more little poke and i'm done. Down that abyss and gone.

You should all know that by now.

They ask me am I ok
they ask me if I'm happy
are they asking me that because of the shit that's been thrown at me
or am I just a little snappy
and they genuinely care.

  -Eminem

Welp, just like Nick said: "They ask you "you Ok?" and you say "Yeah I'm fine" but no of course you're not fine. Pfft you're not doing well at all. Something's happening but you hide it. You wear a mask."

Why... does that ... relate...to everyone?

Being insecure. It sucks. It makes you feel so shit. Self harm kicks in. 

Found this off Tumblr:

It sometimes sucks having a thing with someone so attractive.

Sure, they’re yours.. But there’s always people flirting with them. Someone who wants to get in between you two. And that’s when the jealousy and insecurity comes in. You don’t feel worth having them. You get jealous of every single person that talks to them. You just feel like shit.

Huh. All black n white... I guess for now, I'll just stick with the card tricks and my ukulele.

and-- oh fuck school = ="
And i'm just sitting here on the computer listening to my hag of a grandmother rub in how i have to go to school...

and hey, i thought i needed something more...optimistic so here you go

 ;D Love you babe ♥

A la prochaine~

I am nothing without her~

Hey

I'm sorry.

Huh

So yeah i figured this out a while ago but i guess i just didn't realise it...

I suck.

I don't know how many people have told me that or something close to it because i've actually lost count.

I'm your stereotypical Depressed Musician if you want. Which is why, I figured, I don't talk to people much and vice versa. People can get a big frustrated when they talk to me. I mean not always but...yeah

No ones fault but mine and my blood. It's genetic = ="

I just counted 34...+3

There was this guy, he was asked to go to an asylum to cure this patient. All the guy said were these words:
I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
I need you.
I love you.
Thank you.
He repeated these for weeks and finally the patient was cured and in a stable mental condition. Just goes to show how powerful words can be. I found that therewere a few of those words that I said quite often.

So... I'm gonna go write in my diary so I don't release all this shit into public...

A la prochaine~

WELL
i ended up actually sleeping last night :P
i still woke up at like...8:00 in the morning so that's ok i guess. The other guys didn't sleep until like 3 or 4 they're just sittin around chatting for the whole night...

they all woke up at 7 this morning = ="

  I watched Jackass 3 with the boys and DUDE it was disgusting....but fucking hilarious at the same time XD i...don't think i'll go into too much detail = =

so i went and watched transformers 3 wif Cathie, Crystal and Maxine~
when we got there the seats were all full D: so we bought tickets for Cars 2 and slipped into the transformers theater like ninjas XD so it started at around 2:30 but it finished at like...5:30.  3. frikkin. hours.

yeah so i had to kinda limp home after that.
i say limp cuz i busted my knee either: playing basketball without warming up (not likely) or doing a spin kick without a warmup...both of which are kinda stupid. still, i'm typing this blog with an icepack on my knee...so yeah.

tired tired tired tired motherf***ing tired

contrary to what i normally say, i'm actually gonna sleep early tonight. by early i mean 10:30
or 9:30

...in the morning :P loljk but seriously i need some sleep. gonna be pumped for You Time 2mrl XD even if i have to limp the whole thing~

OH RIGHT yeah, my bro and his friends were trying to blow up a bottle of coke with one aspirin tablet
it failed.

but yeah that should be all...until next time~~

A la prochaine ;D

CHYEAH XD
i got a ukulele todayy~~ i got recently inspired to play it when i saw this vid and the fact that so frkkin many people play it at our school kinda supported it. I ended up playing it for about 5 hours almost straight. so that was pretty awesome :P

if you want to see the video you can see it here

so yeah i've been practicing handstands and cartwheels lately. not just  like the boringly normal cartwheels but like one hand cartwheels then eventually no handers :P but for the handstands i just plan on being able to hold a handstand for at least 30seconds then... yeah chair handstands? then practicing ... and practicing... then moving onto flips XD

^ that might take a while.

Huh so someone kinda realised that nostalgia ain't what it use to be :P that's lack of knowledge for you :/
(referring to me...)

Haha so i now have +1 stalker~~ i don't actually know him but i just know that he's a year younger than me and goes to a school that i've been to a billion times :P LOL that's kinda all i know.

you know...i don't think my brother should've started using facebook...it took him only 2 n a bit days to get to rank 14...it took me 3 weeks to get to rank 8...or something like that anyway. but yeah he's gonna get hooked onto that like eminem on chronic = =" i'm starting to use it less n less :P

so i've been staying up past 1 for the last few days...except for wednesday, i slept at around 10...-ish. but right now it's 12:15 and i don't feel too sleepy... i SHOULD probably get some sleep cause ima go see a movie wif cathie 2mrl~~ XD transformers 3

i think i might stop there now and actually catch some z's~

sorry for the lack of gifs...i'm on my dad's laptop which just happened to be a year older than me = ="

so yeah...

A la prochaine~